Paige, you SUCKED the life out of it

Wah, wah.

Finally, someone who I wanted to go home went home.

Be prepared for a new layout for this blog pretty soon, one that is less tacky that Andrew Garcia (this layout BLOWS)

Lee DeWyze - The Letter

Lee is no longer from Mt. Prospect but from Chicago, according to the superimposed information under his name this week. I liked Miley’s comments this week, to “sing notes they wouldn’t expect”. I don’t think he did. I am not too familiar with the song, but it seemed pretty bland and old-fashioned to me. I wish he could have picked something more contemporary. His voice sounded pretty rockin’, but he still appear awkward as balls to me, it was verging on painful. It’s obvious that his AI experience is driving him to psychopathic thoughts and desires.

6/10

Paige - Against All Odds

I wish I could sing soft yet loud like Paige, too bad that is the only time she doesn’t sound horrendous. Poor Paige, she gave honestly one of the worst performances I’ve ever seen on Idol. The judges also gave her one of the harshest critiques I’ve heard on Idol. I miss Katelyn. I miss Lilly. Why has Paige wasted our time for so many weeks? It doesn’t seem likes she cares any longer; I think she purposely chose an impossible song to ensure herself an out. I can’t imagine another reason.

1/10

Tim Urban - Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Miley was totally scoping Tim’s swol bod. It was cute. She hugged him numerous times. She didn’t say much about his music ability. His performance really annoyed me. I am no longer a fan of Tim whatsoever. His efforts were gimmicky and exploitative. I don’t want to see things like this on the show. I want more meaning. He slid across the stage and it didn’t interfere with the quality of his singing. That’s not to say his singing was of any quality. It was bland and amateurish. I am just glad that the talentless eye candy is male this year.

2/10

Aaron Kelly – “Don’t Want To Miss a Thing”

The thought of writing about Aaron’s performance dissuaded me from updating my American Idol Season 10 blog for almost a full week. I began writing in on Wednesday evening, after my morale was crushed by chronicling Tim’s disaster, and completely lost interest and Aaron could not reknew it. Last week, Aaron continued to beard his true identity by claiming to have a crush on Miley. I am again unmoved by his antiquated performance, but anything would sound great after Tim and Paige…

5/10

Crystal – “Me and Bobby McGee”

Miley pushed Crystal to sing big notes, and Crystal accepts. She looked so clean and pure on stage, like if Janis Joplin timed travelled and successfully completed Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew… I think Crystal is hella smart. She is the only contestant who consistently picks the obviously self appropriate song each week. Her cunning and presence is more reminiscent of Adam Lambert than Siobhan. Crystal is such an excellent learner that she applied the judge’s suggestion to show more personality instantaneously by inviting Seacrest to take a seat on the plush carpet with her. You rule, girl!

9/10

Mike – “When a Man Loves a Woman”

Mike is strangely comfortable with Miley; he gives her a big ol’ bear hug. It is cute to see, after the other contestants were near petrifaction in her presence. It is all downhill after the interview. I stared blankly at the screen, lay down on my bed, and started petting my dog. I wake up to complaining judges, to which I agree. Not terribly stimulating.

5/10

Andrew – “Heard It Through the Grape Vine”

Andrew seems to be repelled by Miley, it’s his innate scenster instinct; toxic inks mutated his DNA from in his gnarly throat tatt. I seriously almost barfed whilst Andrew rap-sang this tacky karaoke favorite that I ‘ve heard numerous old people do, better, I might add, on the third Saturday of the month at a local establishment. He barked the lyrics, pointed around the stage, he looked like Hugh Jass. “I heard it through the grape vooin” (nasally and off).

0/10

Katie Stevens – “Big Girls Don’t Cry”

I witnessed tension between Miley and Katie. Katie was probably intimidated; Miley was probably annoyed by the spinelessness of the contestants. In a previous episode, Katie indicated that she was not a fan of “young” music. The judges expected her to worship Miley and refused to believe otherwise. Instead, it was an awkward mess to watch the young ladies interact together. Katie is not good for the Fergie song either. I miss you Katelyn Epperly! I miss you Lilly Scott! Katie Stevens, you may share my first name, but your voice should be singing country! Just give up on anything not terrible. It’s just who you are. Get it? That was mean, but you know what, I am pissed. This episode pissed me off.

4/10

KC James – “The Power of Love”

“I am a big fan of your dad” – and I don’t respect you very much. That’s okay, KC, you are not going to win! KC was hiding behind his guitar again, 20 feet back from the audience, but his vocals sounded nice. It was a great copy, like watching an overly-talented band at the village festival, except, no keg beer. I seemed to have liked this when I took my initial notes, but can’t seem to recall anything great about it now.

6/10

Didi – “Hit the Road Jack”

Miley went through the same routine with Didi. “If she sings it well, she’s gonna do great!” And another sickeningly karaoke crazed song choice. It’s not even funny to joke about because of the blatancy. I think Didi could have found something much better for her surprisingly meaty and dynamic voice that night.

6/10

Siobhan – “Superstitious”

Siobhan was not afraid to admit that she is fan of Miley. She used the kitch, guilty pleasure to reflect her open-mindedness and irony. I love Siobhan and Miley. We are peas in a pod. I don’t like how Siobhan picked the obvious choice of Stevie after her Hollywood week performance was often recalled fondly. It seemed uncreative… then again, Crystal chose the obvious song as well. Maybe Crystal just did better. I thought Siobhan was a bit under-stimulating. It would be cool if she sang an Evanescence song…

8/10

Goodbye, Lacey!

My prediction realized. Poor girl, she seemed like a sweetheart. Let your hair grow!

My Favorite Moment

Siobhan Magnus sings 'Paint it Black'

Michael Lynche – “Miss You”

I liked the funky bass of the arrangement, believable swagger and extreme likeability of the performer. He has the personality, look, and talent that define the classic, ubiquitous American Idol success story, but now is a little played out. Simon said ‘corny’, the kiss of death for dear Katelyn. I remain indifferent towards Michael, agree that he is extremely talented and worthy, but not my preference in entertainment. I also enjoyed the stare down between Seacrest and Simon, an occurrence I believe premeditated in the dressing room. They try so hard to keep it interesting week after week. Seacrest’s glare sent shivers down my spine.

7/10

Didi Benami – “Play with Fire”

Didi is a gushy gal. She can’t hide her anguish in the face of criticism. During praise she beams unabashed. When she gets eliminated, I fear for her utter break down. Apparently she inherited her over-emotionality from her mother, who cannot bear to be present to her daughter’s judgments. I enjoy Didi’s performance again this week, but again was not sold on her. Her outfit scored some huge points in my book, it reminded me of me. Moments were compelling, others off and measly. I love her catlike gaze, it’s much better than Lacey’s. I’m curious about her somewhat fake remark about Siobhan turning her on to the dark side, then saying “No, I love her hahaha”, as if we had any reason to think otherwise? Didi looked scared. Is there something we don’t know about Siobhan yet?

5/10

Casey “KC” James – “It’s All Over Now”

I kept writing “KC” while taking notes on the show. It just seems to fit. I guess it is because I don’t care about KC too much. I think, like Ellen, I am becoming somewhat of an American Idol lesbian. I’ve always been attracted to female vocalist more, this season the trend holds true. By attracted, I mean enjoy listening to and looking at, not (totally) in the Ellen lesbian way. KC bores me, he’s a great guitar player, but I think he could have more success outside of American Idol with something more truthful. I liked Ellen’s overt “I’m a lesbian joke”, so did everyone else. It was more stimulating than KC.

4/10

Lacey – “Ruby Tuesday”

I like Lacey’s dad more than her, older men in emo-glasses. As for the song, I liked the upbeat part near the mid-end, and wish she had utilized that beat for more of the performance. Her voice wasn’t perfect; in fact, it singed me, like Didi’s. They have some similar grating qualities at times. Her early anticipation of camera direction is also off-putting; she is obviously over anxious to be on cue. Unnatural, boring, bad hair, go sit on the edge of the Grand Canyon. Nice arrangement, but I miss Katelyn.

4/10

Andrew Garcia – “Gimme Shelter “

After his contrived and awful attempt to appeal to the masses with ‘Genie in a Bottle’, I have lost all respect and hope in this contestant. He was on my early predictions list because of his extreme scenester style and cool disposition, but musically he is not exceptional. This week he only further degraded himself. Like Simon said, gave it his all but failed to connect. I miss Alex Lambert.

2/10

Katie Stevens – “Wild Horse”

Originally my most loathed female contestant, she surprised me with her impressive vocal performance. It was pleasant to listen to, her voice more tolerable than Didi and Lacey’s. Katie’s personality is where she loses with me. She needs to tone down the forced sass. If it’s not forced, she needs to learn to be less irritating. She is unworthy compared to Lilly, who oozed self-assuredness. Katie could be on the Disney channel, but that is not what I want. In the end, I thought it was a smart song choice and a solid performance. I wouldn’t die if she stuck around another week.

6/10

Tim Urban – “Under My Thumb”

There are two very impractical reason I am somewhat rooting for Tim Urban. By rooting, I mean not praying for his likely demises. The reasons I am an Urbanite are: a). he is way swol; b). I love the underdogs. The latter wavered last week after his good reviews, but now I am again vested in Tim fully. I sincerely liked his reggae stylings, unlike the judges and everyone else, and am pulling for him now that he has been shot again. Keep pumping that iron Tim! Love those groovy green lights, too.

7/10

Siobhan Magnus – “Paint It Black”

Unfortunately I believe I’m slowly uncovering the truth about Siobhan. She, a stupendous singer and performer, a legitimately unique individual, could possibly be a little less than nice? In my analysis of the contestants’ social taxonomy, I’ve found evidence that Siobhan may be one, if not, the diva of the group. In a post-Idol interview, Katelyn was quoted saying “I thought it would be a bunch of divas walking around. And there were some”. In the same interview she talked about her super BFFs Lilly and Crystal - what about Siobhan? All those quirky girls, but the quirky Siobhan was not included. After early praise and worship from judges, media, and web community, her head grew big and swollen, like Tim’s upper body. The early-front-runner-big-head happens to a few individuals every season. These contestants do not have subtle indications of fight or flight dancing across their disposition while being judged. During judgment they appear to be thinking “I know I am great, let’s just get this over with so I can bask in my glory”. It is happening to my dear Siobhan, my early prediction favorite. She is slowly losing the status of someone whom I would like to be friends with in real life. She is almost too popular now… Anyhow, her performance was tops, her voice was haunting and mellow like Melora Creager’s from Rasputina, and dynamic and rich like Celine Dion’s. She did a masterful job. I love her combat boots and her punk rock prom dress. The beginning reminded me of Alice in Wonderland. Inside, I could not help but feel she was being indulgent, and that irritated me. Her shriek in the end was cool, but she needs to not do that every episode, for sure. She is still my number 1, but unless she comes down to earth and allows me to like her again, she will lose her spot to Crystal… Yes, Siobhan is like Adam Lambert. Yes, they will do an amazing duet in the near future. Adam, though he, too, had the early-front-runner-big-head, was able to remain likeable throughout because the other contestants seemed liked him, too. I guess I am just being catty and siding with Katelyn…

9/10

Lee Dewyze – “Beast Of Burden “

After Siobhan I felt like urge to turn off the TV and contemplate existence, but I continued watching for Lee, who is my neighbor from Mt. Prospect. His Chicago accent is familiar to me, and when I heard his dad speak, he sounded like every Tom, Dick, and Harry at the local old man bar to me, it made my heart melt. Lee gets Chicago points from me! Unfortunately, I hate nervous people. He looks so uncomfortable it at times makes me uncomfortable. Can’t you see we’re torturing him? It appears that he is having a terrible time except when he is performing. He is like a terrified, non-douchey John Mayer. Talented and dreamy, I hope this cute shy Chicago boy can get over his fear.

7/10

Paige Miles – “Honkey Tonk Woman”

I don’t like Paige. She is bland. The only reason Simon said she had more potential than Katelyn is because he is obsessed with Whitney Houston, and with the correct pruning, Paige might be able to replicate that noise. News flash – Paige has a naturally amazing voice, but not a naturally amazing presence or likeability. She is rather forgettable, and more often than not, her voice is out-of-control. I think it is impressive that she had laryngitis and was somehow able to sing but not speak. I am also impressed by the fact that she had no rehearsal. That is not enough to sway me from my personally formed opinion that Paige sucks and does not deserve to be in the top 12. Boring, average, I miss Katelyn and Lilly.

5/10

Aaron Kelley – “Angie”

Although I have a hard time believing Aaron could be singing about a woman romantically, I thought his performance went well. I, too, enjoyed his tender moments. I agree with Simon, it was the right song for him, but he didn’t win me. I don’t expect to see this contestant get beyond the next month. Yawn. Stretch.

6/10

Crystal Bowersox – “You Can’t Always Get What You Want “

Crystal, my girl. At first I thought she was the smug one, but she seems to be coming down to earth after her buddies went bye-bye. Crystal is naturally beautiful; I love her minimal shimmer eye shadow and wooden jewelry. She is like a truer, less sexualized Jewel with more grit. The arrangement reminded me of something like Ani DiFranco but Crystal’s voice is more mainstream, but distinct. Crystal could take a lesson in cutting loose on stage from Ani, too. It would be hilarious if Ani was a mentor! And Simon said that Siobhan was better than her this episode? I thought that every other episode! Anyway, I caught Crystal taking a stab at Siobhan, saying “the competition…didn’t even cross my mind”, meaning she hates Siobhan and thinks she sucks and could be consider competition to her. Ha! Drama! I want to see blood.

9/10